tinkerbitchx's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- why try to stay sober when i'm dying? I'm deep inside a dismal, dreary, dark forest of lost love. Anything and everything reminds me of him. I'm searching for a release for my anger but all of the answers are lethal or unattainable. I am no longer one with the eagle which he is. He's soaring high above me, not noticing my abnormal self. I come to a painful realization that I can no longer have the once engraved name upon my heart. My chest, I no longer stick outwards to show off this now uncertainty. I can no longer grin or feel complete when he tells me he loves me. It's not because I'm deaf, though I wish I were as for it is a far better excuse than his heart-stabbing outro, it is because he vanished it from his vocabulary. He vanished from me. I have a defense and yet I let him get a bit tickled at my suffering. Now, now .. in this time of need and distress I turn to no one. I have this huge weight upon my shoulders and it's starting to split my skin. It's not the skin I mind so much it's just you're not here with me, taking my mind off it. I'm sure it's rather foolish to carry the worries and paranoia upon me constantly but I have nothing left. You left me stranded and barenaked inside this torture infested palace. The palace is unlike no other. For it's walls are massive in size but meaningless in the end. The walls are not made for climbing so I have no hope for escape. I want to escape, I do. As the hatred builds up inside my heart, mind, even soul I clinch my fists and slightly flinch. I knew it would happen all along. Of course you don't have the heart to warn me. So it doesn't matter anyway, does it? I ask, as I feel the ax begining to fall. 9:54 PM - November 08, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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