tinkerbitchx's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ace of hearts I search for something deeper, more painful. I cry out of frustration, out of pain. I lie to you out of protection. I die for you because you made me do so. All of the sketches of what it's really supposed to be get soaked in tears and then left on my bed. It's a mess so I ignore and then later on forget. Sitting here writing my feelings out to no one ;out to everyone ; out to myself. I don't see what it is anyone -- especially you -- sees in me. Maybe you see some shadow of someone else. Because I am gone. Do dead girls have shadows? It must be the bastard who sees fit that my life is miserable. I can tolerate a certain amount. Breathing without oxygen is kind of dramatic, anyway. Painting my surroundings black and red and white and pain and scars and death. I'm not what you think I am -- I am no one. I am nothingness, trapped inside a bottle. This bottle looks as if it is see through but it's really just another trick. A false sense of security or knowledge that I came up with when I was a little girl instead of playing house. 1:16 PM - January 20, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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