tinkerbitchx's Diaryland Diary

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slowly

I feel like I'm slipping into nothing. I'm in that place again where I just can't do anything but hide and destroy my own life over and over. I wish there was some way of knowing I couldl ook up one day and see something or someone great there. I wish something or someone would let me get up from all this and stand up straight and hold my head up high and let me have a smile that isn't simply carved upon my face. I wish it would rain eternally on me and let it soak me and embrace my hatred and then drown it along with me. It's my private hell, and mine alone. I can't share it but I too often give others a taste of it. They spat it out like sour milk and turned their heads until I spun around and made like everything was fine again. Even so I am still so alone and I wish I was more aware that this was simply dying.

1:51 am - 04-30-03

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