tinkerbitchx's Diaryland Diary

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backstabbing me constantly

I haven't done any drugs or consumed alcohol in five days. My boyfriend doesn't believe me, how pleasant. My paranoia served me correctly, as feared. I asked Jason if he had been thinking about breaking it off / taking a break in the past couple of weeks. His answer? "Not exactly.." and he didn't answer like I had hoped, which would be no and such. So I said "Honestly, you haven't?" Then he admitted, etc etc. I got upset and told him I had to go. I haven't thought about the situation, or him for that matter, all day.

I went to school today. Stayed until around 11:30 and picked up some lunch (onion rings & a cherry float thing) from Burger King. I picked up Jamie from work because she called me on my cell phone. I took her to her parents house and she picked up some of her things, and we came home and watched some soaps.

I didn't even go to classes when I went to school. I finished my midterm (World History) which is like 2 weeks late. I bullshitted my way through the whole thing. Then I did a lot of writing. For my sake, not yours, I'll share a little bit.

Not Strapped In

Hiding beneath the matresses

She's not shy or plotting my demise

She's just stuck

The way she crawls

Underneath my skin

So that I don't feel it

I breathe it

Well, it's more comforting than dripping mascara

Low Radiation

I've been waiting for your call forever

It's like having a happy dagger strike at my chest

This dagger is relentless

And never stabs in the same place

It's my equalizer between distance, lies, and reality

3:15 PM - October 22, 2002

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