tinkerbitchx's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- flesh decay There are such places where you never see the sun. Chambers of pain, even though death has not begun. I can run and run and act like she wont catch up to me. I thought I was only imagining them when I was small. That I could wake up and be safe in my cartoon sheets. Waking up to a proud, strong, stay-at-home mom who was making me breakfast. And watching my intelligent father reading the newspaper while drinking coffee and orange juice. I could almost smell the bacon and eggs being cooked on our pretty black and white stove. I could almost hear my glass of milk being poured into my favourite cup. It was all in my head, none of that was true. My dad was drinking, but alcohol instead. My mother was not home, she was at work. Like she always is. There is a place where my tears mean happiness, in the most darkest of ways. And where I can't get out of these relentless days. Where I'm lost in a dream, filled with misery and depression. An endless daze. One that I wake up to the same exact things, a heartbreaking lesson. I long to appear in warmth felt reflections. But they are just fantasies from where I daydreamed of multi-coloured soldiers that equaled perfection. 1:23 am - 05-15-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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